Grief in early childhood doesn’t always look like we expect. Children feel loss deeply, even if they don’t yet have the words to express their pain, and their reactions may come in the form of sadness, withdrawal, clinginess, or even tantrums. Although we can’t shield children from loss, we can be a steady, nurturing presence as they make sense of their world.
Grief for children under age six is different from grief in older children or adults. Because young children are still developing their understanding of time, cause-and-effect, permanence, and abstract concepts like death, they may not grasp that death means “forever” or they may believe their actions caused a loved one to leave. Instead of talking about their feelings, they may show grief through their behaviors.
Some common grief responses in young children include:
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Regression to earlier behaviors (thumb sucking, toileting accidents, baby talk, or needing help with tasks they’ve already learned)
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Big emotions (irritability, tantrums, sudden crying)
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Quiet withdrawal (not speaking, avoiding play or peers)
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Separation anxiety, fear of leaving their caregiver(s), clinginess
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Aggression or outbursts
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Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
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Play themes involving death, loss, or separation
These reactions are normal. Children’s grief may come in waves or resurface over time, especially when memories are triggered or routines change. For a helpful guide to developmental responses to grief in children, The
Dougy Center offers evidence-based insight tailored for children and caregivers.
Families experiencing grief are often navigating their own emotional challenges while trying to support their child. Meet the family where they are. Families from different backgrounds, cultures, family structures, and belief systems may grieve in different ways. Some may want to talk openly or frequently, while others may approach it more privately. Validate all responses and allow space for diverse expressions of grief. Connect families with resources such as grief counseling or local mental health supports as needed.
As an educator, you play a crucial role in bridging the home-school connection. Check in gently about how their child is doing at home and share what you notice in the classroom (“I’ve noticed Emily seems quieter than usual this week. How have things been going at home?”) Reassure families that it’s okay for children to express big emotions and that your classroom is a safe place for their child to be themselves.
Families are more likely to share what’s happening at
home when a strong, trusting relationship is already in place.
Looking for more support in building strong home-school connections? Our on-demand course,
Partnering with Families, offers practical
strategies for open, respectful communication with families. Learn how
to foster trust, communicate with sensitivity, and create a classroom
environment where families feel supported and empowered to share what their
child is going through.
In an inclusive classroom, supporting a grieving child also means recognizing and responding to their unique sensory, communication, and emotional regulation needs. There is not one “right” way to express feelings around loss. Every child processes grief differently—and our responses should be flexible and child-centered.
Here are ways educators can support grieving children in the classroom:
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Maintain predictable routines: Consistency helps children feel secure when the world around them feels unpredictable.
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Offer quiet, cozy spaces: Some children need a place to retreat when they’re feeling overwhelmed. A cozy corner with soft materials, books, or calming items gives children a place to regulate.
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Validate their feelings: Help children recognize and name what they’re feeling. Avoid trying to fix or distract. Instead, say things like, “It’s okay to feel sad. I’m right here with you.”
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Encourage expression through play and art: Open-ended play and process art can help children work through emotions without needing words. A child might use stuffed animals to reenact a goodbye or draw a picture of someone they miss. These creative outlets let them express complex emotions safely.
While we can’t take away a child’s grief, we can help build resilience—fostering the internal strength and coping skills children need to move forward. To learn more about supporting resilience after loss or trauma, the
Child Mind Institute offers research-based resources for early educators.
Sesame Street in Communities is another resource for videos and tools for helping young children cope with grief.
Looking for more tools to respond to big behaviors linked
to trauma or emotional distress?
Our on-demand course
Mastering Challenging Behaviors explores the connection between trauma and behavior, offering concrete tools to
support children through stress, dysregulation, and emotional outbursts.
Perfect for educators seeking real-world strategies to create calm, connected
classrooms.
Grief is not something we fix. It’s something we hold space for. As educators, we can’t erase a child’s pain—but we can be a safe place where a grieving child knows they are seen, heard, and loved. You may not always have the perfect words, but your presence is powerful. You can listen without rushing and remind them that they are not alone. And remember, you are part of a larger web of support that includes families, mental health professionals, and community networks.
As we recognize Mental Health Awareness Month and National Trauma Awareness Month, let this be a reminder that mental health matters at every age—including early childhood. The relationships we build and the care we offer plant the seeds for healing. Thank you for holding space for children and families navigating the hardest parts of life. Your compassion today is shaping the resilience and emotional well-being of tomorrow.
- The IMPACT Team
